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Advice for Single Guys from Success Coach - Doc LoveWOMEN DON'T LIE - MEN DON'T LISTENHi Milton, So, she wants to be accepted at school what grade is she in - third? Kidding aside, the obvious question is: why is it so important for her to go to this dance? You should think like a cop on Law & Order and ask yourself: is it the ballroom decorations she's looking forward to seeing or is it the company that will be there with her? (Answer: she's looking forward to seeing a guy and he's not you!). Of course a guy should always try to attend social events like the ones at your girlfriend's school for the sake of maintaining a loving relationship, but I doubt that romantic neglect is your problem, Milt. I believe the real problem is that your ladylove plans her social calendar around your schedule on purpose. No, you're not wrong to be upset. How dare your girlfriend try to put you on the defensive with her talk about "trust" when she's the one angling to be in the arms of another guy! Under the guise of trust, she's the one being untrustworthy. You may think my hunch about her is far-fetched, but consider these two pieces of evidence: First - she already had a date picked out when she told you about the dance. If her intentions were pure, she would have asked you to have one of your mutual friends chaperone her - in other words, she would have made the choice of dancing partners a joint decision. But she was way ahead of you in this game. The second clue can be found in the answer to this question: would a woman with high Interest Level really be able to enjoy herself at a romantic dance without the one she loves? Of course not - unless she's meeting him there! If it turns out that your girl's prom date has been at all her other social functions as well, then we know that Mr. X is more than just a casual stand-in. As my cousin Fast Eddie Love would say: "When it comes to love, there are no accidents." In my opinion, the real shot fired across your bow came when your true love informed you, "I'm going anyway." Do you hear the ultimatum in that statement? So much for being loving and considerate. The Bottom Line Factor says that a woman is declaring her free agency when she makes such a statement. She is telling you in Womanese, "We are no longer a team." So, what should you do, Milt? Well, you might try calling her bluff by telling her you can now make it to the dance and so now she can unload Mr. X. But chances are nine out of ten that she will say, "Oh, it would be unfair to him to back out now." After all, why would she choose you over someone she really likes? One thing you should not do, under any circumstances, is lose your cool and try to take out your girl's prom date with a deer rifle! The Bottom Line Factor says that a woman's lack of Interest Level and integrity are the real culprits in love rip-offs, not "the other guy." Instead of objecting further to your ladylove's act of war, let her bring up the subject of the dance again, and then respond with a big smile, "Have a nice time" - and never again return her phone calls. Guys, when a woman starts playing hardball, you can be sure the relationship is over. When this happens, don't allow the woman to drop you slowly. Instead, end the relationship immediately without talking or explanation. As my cousin Sal "The Fish" Love would say about women who are about to break up with a guy: "Give them nothing."
To send me your love questions or to find out more about The "System," visit me at www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644. Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?" Copyright DocLove DotCom More Advice for Single Guys from Success Coach - Doc Love |