Hi Brett,

You don't know what you should do, ugh? Well, the first thing you should do is see a tailor so you can keep your lip zipped. It sounds to me as if you two started exchanging 'I love you's' by about the middle of your second date, and I'll bet you a new Brittany Spears calendar that you were the one to say it first. Always let the woman bring up the "L" word first, and don't echo it back until you've had some extended time in with her. The Reality Factor says that you can never come on too slow with a girl, only too fast.

During the first 60 days of dating, she doesn't lose points by saying "I love you" but you do! Yes, that's right. It's politically incorrect and it's called a double standard. So Brett, when she says it again, you should answer humorously with a DeNiro impression; "What, you talkin to me?" If this seems harsh, remember that this girl is telling you in one breath that she loves you and in another that she wants to slow things down. So much for language and logic!

Brett, I want to tell you something important that you won't hear from the other relationship experts: In the early stages of courtship, in order to feel romantically stimulated, men and women have differing needs. Men primarily need to have the experience of being accepted by a woman, while women primarily need to have the experience of having to wonder if the guy whom they are interested in, really likes them or not, and to what degree. Sounds pretty wild, huh? But it's true.

So how are you going to create that sense of mystery that she requires in order to fall in love, if you tell her how much you love her right away? You can't. So don't tell her you love her too soon and she'll love you more and sooner. And by the way, don't attempt to verify this fact with women, because more often than not they will deny it and will only confuse you even more.

Brett, you've got to understand that a sure fire way to sabotage a potentially great relationship is to come on heavy verbally; reveal too much about yourself too soon; and let her know that your Interest Level in her is higher than Bill Gates's net worth. When you do that, you're being the opposite of a Challenge and women above all want a guy who is a mystery, even though they will never admit it.

For the first 60 days, self-disclosure about your feelings toward the girl whom you're dating should be strictly rationed. Besides, it takes at least two months to begin to know someone well enough to have any real sense as to whether they are lifetime partner material, or just someone to party with.

Before those critical 60 days have passed, keep it light and keep her laughing. As one of our great modern philosophers, Cindy Lauper once said, "Girls just want to have fun," and there's more practical wisdom in that than you know. You've got to save the whole, "Wow, you really are my soulmate," conversation for way down the line, and let her be the one to bring it up because it is always better for both of you if she thinks that it is her idea to begin with.

Brett, your problem is that you allowed yourself to get too comfortable way too soon. And worse, you let her know that were overjoyed to be with her. But, if her Interest Level is still above 50%, we can save this relationship by backing off slightly. So: no more 'I love you's' for now on, cut down your dates with her to once a week, and don't talk to her on the phone except to make a date. Start thinking like a guy, not a gal, and stop worrying about where the relationship is 'going'. Instead, relax and allow Challenge to work its magic. You job is to always keep it light and fun and lay off the heavy subjects.

Listen, Brett, two things happen in a relationship; you either break up, or worse, you get married. The Reality Factor says that all breakups are never mutual. One person always dumps the other and 90% of the time the woman dumps the man or drives him nuts so he dumps her (she gets him to do her dirty work for her). Then we hear the excuse, "It didn't work out," which means in Womanese: "He turned me off, lowered my Interest Level, and then I dropped him like the bad habit that he was."

Remember, guys, until she will rob banks for you, do not come on heavy. If you cannot learn to control your mouth, forget women and join the monastery.