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Hi Doc,
Now that I've read several of your advice columns, I am thoroughly convinced that you have the mind of a fourteen-year old boy.
Your column and your so-called "System" are an attempt to teach men how to play mind games and manipulate women. And any guy who is using some kind of rule book or strategy to try to win me over, may actually make it to a second date, but I can guarantee you that he won't make it to my bedroom.
The advice you should be giving men is to simply be honest and be themselves. Men don't need to act aloof or unavailable to get women to like them. The truth is that women like to know up front whether a guy is interested, and they certainly don't want a guy to wait a week before he calls, which is what you advocate. Have you actually talked to any of these thousands of women whom you claim to have interviewed? I doubt it.
What you're doing, Doc Love, is trying to convince guys to act like jerks because they've been rejected once or twice. That's never going to help them find a woman who will truly make them happy.
You're obviously trying to gain popularity by being politically incorrect, which is apparently the hip thing to do theses days. But you're only exacerbating the misunderstandings between men and women.
You shouldn't be giving love advice until you start asking us women what we want instead of telling men what you think we want. If you actually had been interviewing real women, and then you'd know that all that women really want, is a nice guy who is sincere.
Reva - who thinks that you are not helping anyone

Advice for Single Guys from Success Coach - Doc Love

WOMEN DON'T LIE - MEN DON'T LISTEN

Hi Reva,

Did I hit a nerve?

Allow me to tell you about a guy I've recently met, named Barney. Barney is a Macho Boy. When he takes a woman out on a first date, he intermittently stares at her breasts throughout the evening. He also has a habit of complaining about his ex wife in the middle of the dinner conversation. And he can't seem to keep himself from touching his date's arm too much. Every girl, who goes out with Barney, winds up feeling extremely uncomfortable and never wants to hear from him again. Yet Barney is baffled as to why he never gets a second date.

Barney's buddy, Frank, is different from Barney. Frank is what I call a Teddy Bear Guy. He always brings a bouquet of flowers for the girl on their first date. He also thinks that if he shares all the disappointments that he's experienced in relationships and life, that his date will respect him for being 'honest' and 'willing to share his feelings' and that that will make her more attracted to him. At the end of the evening, he usually says to his date: "I really like you. Do you like me?" Frank doesn't get many second dates either.

So Reva, I've got a few questions for you. Shall we simply encourage Barney and Frank to continue to "be themselves?" Could it be possible that they might benefit from some coaching? If I educate Barney and Frank about the error of their ways and they change their behaviour in order to become more successful with women, would I then be turning them into a manipulative phonies? And would you deny Barney and Frank the opportunity to improve themselves? Should all those guys, who are chronically making outrageous blunders with women, continue to just "be themselves?"

Curiously Reva, it's often the same women who complain about men being manipulative when they try new things to be successful with women, who are rushing off to the newsstand to get the latest edition of Cosmopolitan or Self magazine, to learn: "Five Sure Fire Ways To Get Him To Commit", or "Seven Secret Psychic Strategies To Make Him Fall Helplessly In Love With You." Do you ever read women's magazines Reva?

Go to the relationship section of any bookstore. Wade through all the "men are creeps and women are victims"' crap, and most of the rest - of what you will find -are books written by women for women with strategies to "Get What You Want From The Man In Your Life." It seems that when a woman studies a book to enhance her relationships, its called "self improvement." But when a man takes the initiative to get some coaching to improve his love life, he's condemned for being "dishonest" and "manipulative." Hmm, and the Feministas fought so hard to get rid of all those double standards!

The way that I found out what women actually desire in a man, was not to ask them what they "want". (If you ask women what they "want" they come up with misleading doublespeak just as you have Reva.) The truth is revealed when I quiz them about the character traits of the men with whom they actually wind up staying with in a relationship. In the vast majority of cases, what we discover, is that the man who makes the grade, is the man who made the woman, (either naturally or by design) feel as if she had to work somehow to win him over. She had to wait and wonder awhile about where she stood with him and so she found him mysterious and compelling and ultimately, worthy of her affections.

I'm not saying that a guy needs to be a mysterious when he's been married for ten years. But in the first 60 days of courtship, it's imperative.

I'll tell you, Reva, if you were to meet two different guys at an afternoon barbecue whom you both had 70% Interest Level in, and guy number one called you later that night and told you how much he cared for you, your Interest Level in him would very quickly sink to 60%. Why? Too much, too fast.

But if guy number two waited a week to call you and simply asked you out in a gentlemanly fashion, by the time he called, your Interest Level in him would have risen to 75%. You would find yourself involuntarily responding positively to guy number two in contrast to guy number one, because guy number two was less anxious, more mysterious and more of a Challenge.

The truth Reva, is that Macho Boy, the pushy, inconsiderate jerk, is not going to get anywhere with any woman, at least not any woman who is clinically sane. But Teddy Bear Guy (wimpus Americanus) is not going to get very far by being too available and too eager to please either.

Too many good men are losing out on having heathy relationships with wonderful women, only because they've never had proper coaching. They don't know that their job on a first date is to keep things light, keep their hands to themselves, be a good listener and make their date feel comfortable. And above all, control the interview.

Men also don't know that they're blowing it when they give a woman fifteen different compliments on the first date or when they propose marriage on the fourth date. They're fundamentally good guys, but they just don't know any better. That's where I come in, and I know I'm helping a lot of guys because of the hundreds of grateful testimonial letters I receive each month.

Remember guys: The man who is a gentleman and a Challenge keeps the woman.

To send me your love questions or to find out more about The "System," visit me at www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644.

Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"

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More Advice for Single Guys from Success Coach - Doc Love