MidWest Singles Connection

The singles scene is hot at the Midwest Singles Connection where you'll meet thousands of single men and single women looking for you.

Visit a Midwest Singles Connection Member Site

Hi Doc Love,
I am just writing to tell you that I disagree with your article about the guy who needs to give a kiss to a girl on the first date to find out if she is interested. A woman needs time to decide how she feels about someone. I usually don't kiss a guy on the first date. To a lot of women, a kiss is special. They just don't kiss a guy until they have romantic feelings for him.
Most of the time I pay my own way until I know I have romantic feelings with somebody and in that way, I know I didn't use the person. I wait until I know how I feel. If a guy does what you say to do all the time, he'll be scaring women off. Your article is just too simplistic.
Ginny - who thinks that you are definitely wrong

Advice for Single Guys from Success Coach - Doc Love

WOMEN DON'T LIE - MEN DON'T LISTEN

Ginny,

Let me ask you something, and be honest. Have you ever had the experience of meeting a man, and knowing instantaneously that you were attracted to him, that he was your type? Have you ever, in your entire life, kissed a guy on a first date? Of course you have. And why did you kiss him on the first date? Because you liked him! You wanted him. You desired him. When you know, you know. And, when you know that you like him, you want him to know that you like him. And what do you do when you know that you like him? You plant one on him when the moment is right. You see Ginny it is that simple.

But, when you 'need time to decide how you feel,' that means that you are ambivalent, and I don't want my readers going out on second dates with women who are ambivalent. My boys deserve a lot better than that. When a woman's romantic Interest Level toward a man is in that 'so so, wishy - washy, iffy, kinda, sorta' category, that just doesn't cut it. We don't want mediocrity. We want romance and passion. To continue to go out with a guy whom you have no passion for, is not only unethical, but a waste of his time and yours.

If your romantic interest in a guy is low enough for you to insist on paying your half of the dinner check and is also low enough for you to turn your head when he wants to kiss you, are you saying, that by the next date, that there's a good chance that you're going to feel different? Yeah right, and Bill Clinton has decided to become a celibate monk.

When you insist that the check be split down the middle, even-steven, you're not allowing the guy to be the protector and provider, which is what you want him to be when you like him a lot. It's unromantic to insist on paying your half. Unfortunately, most guys don't realize that when a girl insists on paying her half of the dinner check on a first date, there's no chance for romance. Instead they come back for more punishment.

Ginny, two hours of dinner conversation is plenty of time for you to use all your feminine intuitive powers to determine whether or not you're attracted to a guy. If you're not, then sure, don't kiss him. But if you are, you will kiss him when he wants to kiss you. Your high Interest Level won't allow you to not kiss him. You'll be afraid that he might not call you again if you don't! As "The System" says: When a girl likes you, she shows you that she likes you.

Yes Ginny, a kiss is special. And it's to be given to a man whom you think is special. So if you don't think he's special, then don't kiss him. Just make sure that you don't go out with him again if you don't think he's special. Isn't that fair?

The only reason you're paying your own way is so you won't feel turning your head away when your date makes his move. But when you're romantically drawn to a man, the issue of feeling guilty about not paying for your 'fair share' somehow just doesn't seem to come up. My advice to you, Ginny, is to stop going out with men to whom you're not attracted; because as you know, whenever you do, it never goes anywhere.

Remember, guys, a woman knows when she's attracted to a man. And more importantly, she knows it when she first meets him, period.

To send me your love questions or to find out more about The "System," visit me at www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644.

Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"

Copyright DocLove DotCom

More Advice for Single Guys from Success Coach - Doc Love