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Advice for Single Guys from Success Coach - Doc LoveWOMEN DON'T LIE - MEN DON'T LISTENHi Donovan, I'm glad that your awareness level has gone up. You've done what most guys are unable to do. You've set your ego aside. When you're able to do that, you can see things as they really are, not how you think they should be. Way too many guys think that talking about sex, nudity and private bodily functions on a first date, is a positive, helpful thing to do. But, as we observe people's behavior from an objective perspective, the brutal truth is revealed: talking about sex on a first date is destructive. I'll tell you Donovan; I've watched numerous episodes of "Blind Date" myself. It's quite entertaining and educational too. I'm able to determine, as soon as the door opens, whether the guy has a chance or not, because I can read the subtleties of body language. I can predict the outcome of the date way before he torpedoes the whole deal by making an erotic innuendo in the first minute and a half. So I definitely encourage you to continue watching the show. You can learn a great deal from it. Keep fine tuning your body language reading skills, and see how early into the segment you can 'call it' as to whether or not the guy is going to get a really nice kiss at the end of the date. (The host almost always comments on the type of kiss the guy got from the girl, or the absence of a kiss.) And, yes indeed, it is absolutely mind boggling to see how many guys, time after time after time, sabotage any chance they have with the woman by talkin' trash. Here are some actual examples of the types of things guys say, from episodes of "Blind Date" that were broadcast. They range from subtly uncool to quite crass to downright disgusting:
Yes, Donovan, the average guy seems to have the idea that if he makes juvenile comments about his date's body, that she will think that he is clever and confident. He thinks that she will experience him as being extra masculine and gutsy if he tells a tasteless joke. But Mr. Macho Boy is an idiot. His behavior is having the opposite effect of what he imagines, plus, he fails to read her negative signals, facial expressions and body language. How has the American male become brainwashed into thinking that this kind of behavior is productive? I lay much of the blame on Hollywood and the Music Industry. In fictional fantasy La La Land, the Hero gets away with all kinds of things that would never play in real life. In Rap videos, the music star bumps and grinds and talks trash, while hordes of gorgeous women do nothing but worship him. It doesn't take much exposure to this kind of craziness to warp your values. Hollywood brainwashing, along with a lack of positive mentors and role models for boys, no fathers in the home and an overall lack of education about manners, are the other contributing factors. Donovan, tell all your buddies that they do not gain anything by talking about sex on a date. When they do, they do not become more interesting or charming or sexy. If a girl has super high Interest Level in a guy, then she'll overlook these kinds of comments, but, THEY STILL DO NOTHING to RAISE HER INTEREST LEVEL IN HIM! On the average first date, the guy starts out with the girl having about 60 to 70 percent Interest Level in him at best, so he cannot afford to go down that risqué' road. Talk of sex or nudity or intimate bodily functions is high-risk activity. About 95% of the time, nice girls, even ones who read Cosmo, don't want to talk about something so personal and intimate with someone they don't know. And think about this. How would you like if some guy went out with your little sister and stated talking about "getting laid" on the first date? You'd want to punch his lights out wouldn't you? So, never bring up the subjects of race, religion, politics or sex on a date, because we don't want you to get into an argument, and win, and then lower the woman's Interest Level. Remember guys, you never want to tell her what's really on your mind.
To send me your love questions or
to find out more about The "System," visit me at
www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644.
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