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Dear Doc Love,

I've been reading your column every week for a few months now. I agree with a lot of the things you say.

I think that you are right when you say that women prefer a guy who is not needy and who is a "Challenge" as you call it. But some of the things that you recommend to do just seem a bit extreme.

For instance, you say that after a guy first meets a girl, he should wait a whole week before he calls her. Well I've tried that now a total of four times in the last month and in every case, when I waited a full seven days to call the girl, she either seemed annoyed that I waited so long or she just about forgot who I was.

None of the four girls accepted a date with me, even when I apologized for waiting so long to call. One of them even said: "When you didn't call, I thought you weren't interested, I'm seeing someone else now."

I can see how waiting a few days is better than calling the very next day. But especially if I meet a girl who really likes me, I think she would be hurt and insulted if I waited so long. And what good is that?

I would really like to hear you explain better why you think waiting a week is the right thing to do because as far as I can tell, it's not!

Stanley - who needs an explanation

Advice for Single Guys from Success Coach - Doc Love

WOMEN DON'T LIE - MEN DON'T LISTEN

Dear Stanley,

You must understand that my "System" is not about just getting a girl to go out with you. And it's not about "scoring." It's a methodology that supports you in finding a woman who is potential committed-relationship material and then determining whether or not she truly is The One.

Now in order for her to qualify as the woman of your dreams, she has to demonstrate two crucial qualities.

First of all, she has to have a high level of romantic interest in you (70% or greater) from the get go. If she's potentially your soul mate, she will recognize what a great guy you are when she first meets you. You won't have to try to get her to appreciate you. And by the time you say goodbye to her, she will already have used her powerful feminine intuition to discern that you and she have romantic chemistry and she'll be eager to explore the possibilities.

One of the powerful tools that "The System" provides you with to make sure that a particular woman's level of interest is in this higher range, is the "wait a week to call strategy." If she really likes you, she will be undaunted by the fact that you waited more than twice as long to call her than any other guy she's ever met in her life. In fact, she'll be intrigued, which raises her Interest Level.

Now if a woman's Interest Level in you is 49% or lower, she will have forgotten about you when you call after a week, but we want to weed out women like these! You don't want to be spending time with a woman who would have forgotten about you after a week because that means she doesn't dig who you are to begin with! The Reality Factor says that it is impossible for a woman with high interest to forget about a guy in seven days.

To prove my point, let's reverse the situation. Imagine a world where women were the ones who asked guys for their phone numbers. In that scenario, if you met a girl who you really clicked with and then she waited a week to call you, would you blow her off? If Julia Roberts met you at a party and got your number and waited seven days before she rang, would you say to her: "Sorry Julia, I lost interest in you because you waited too long to call?" Of course not!

The second crucial quality that a woman must demonstrate in order to qualify as the future Ms. Right, is that she must be flexible. Why? Because if you become involved with an inflexible woman, someone who is not light-hearted and easy going, you're going to wind up being miserable like millions of American men.

A girl, who is uptight, structured and insecure, may come up with a whopper like: "When you didn't call, I thought you weren't interested, I'm seeing someone else now." As if, in the course of the last seven days, she went from being completely available, to meeting someone, arranging a date, going out with him to falling in love and is now going steady with him. What are the odds of that?

Stanley, can you see now that all four of your potential dates had low interest in you or were inflexible or both? But don't let it get you down. Dating is a numbers game. Stay on course. I guarantee that you will find a woman who has high interest in you if you keep utilizing the strategies that I recommend. Just make sure if you get any more flak that you don't apologize again for waiting a week to call. That's not a confident move plus it makes you look weak.

Remember, guys, to weed out the strokers, wait a week to call.

To send me your love questions or to find out more about The "System," visit me at www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644.
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"

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