Advice for Single Guys from Success Coach - Doc
Love
WOMEN DON'T LIE - MEN DON'T LISTEN
Hi Dupree,
Sure, I can give you all the direction in the
world, but are you going to do what I tell you? Or are you going to quit
because it's too hard to get yourself together? Do you want to stay a loser, or
are you going to make the commitment to do what it takes to turn yourself into
a winner?
First of all, dude, I hate to tell you this, but lots of guys
are in the same boat as you but they just won't admit it. The reason girls lose
interest in you is because there's something physically wrong about you
that you're leaving out of your letter, and/or you don't know how to talk to
them.
It's funny that two separate girls used the same word -
"inappropriate" -- about the way you smooched them. What the heck could you
possibly be doing to them? I'd like to go into this in more detail with you,
pal, but this column is G-rated.
Nevertheless, it's a great sign that
Diana agreed to go out with you a second time. With everyone else you only got
to the first date and then you were history. But with Diana you got a little
further. Perchance - assuming she's not a Professional Dater - you did some
things right on that first date that got you to the second. If I were invisible
and could have been beside you I would have seen what you did right, or else
figured out that Diana was a Professional Dater. And that's where the
importance of memorizing my material comes in - it's like having me with you
all the time. And you don't say in your letter whether you have the Dating
Dictionary or not.
You succeeded only in frightening Diana too,
like you did the others, so I have to ask you this question: when you go to
kiss a girl, do you go for her neck with your fangs out? Do you have long,
stringy hair like Howard Stern after a shower? Guy, since I can't see your
face, what I would do if I were you would be to find a close friend or relative
and find out what's wrong with your mug, because first of all we have to get
past the issue of physical attractiveness. And if there's a problem, then you
should undergo some cosmetic surgery or take other steps to rectify it. Maybe
you look like a male witch or something like that. (Of course, even weird looks
hasn't hurt guys like Howard Stern when it comes to women. Like my Uncle Jethro
Love says, "You ever see some of Marilyn Manson's girlfriends before he went
and got married? Hubba-hubba!")
Now, let's take a look at the
conclusions you drew about yourself.
We don't know for sure that your
looks aren't killing you. As my cousin Sal "The Fish" Love says, "Hey, maybe
you got a mole on the end of your nose the size of a turnip." And maybe that
guy who was built like a string bean was a male model with a washboard stomach
and a great face. Don't forget the immortal words of my cousin General Love:
"Remember, when it comes to war, you can never have enough weapons. Soldier, on
the dating battlefield you can never be good-looking enough!"
You
should feel embarrassment, anxiety, high blood pressure and all the rest of it
when you hit on a girl you don't know because you're going up to a complete
stranger. So that's not abnormal in itself. But if you're introverted and shy,
the first thing you need to do is grow a personality. You need to take
speech classes and then give talks on my principles. You also need to go to
improv class and learn how to be funny. And you have to keep improving yourself
until you calm down when talking to people about my material and making them
laugh with my material.
Like I said before, pretty much every guy feels
some sort of anxious discomfort when he's with a woman he likes. But if it's so
bad you can't control your physical reactions and symptoms, you have to go and
see someone who's got a sheepskin on his wall. If the whole process is that
painful for you, you should go and consult some type of professional counselor
who can help you. On the other hand I do know this: if you memorized my book
and were able to get up and lecture on it in front of a hundred people, one or
two women in the audience would think you're cute and you'd be on your way.
Your third point is the saddest of all. Because do you know what you've
done here? You've given up hope. To you Psych majors, as long as you're
breathing and you can get to the door to ring the bell, there's hope. But
you have to change your Attitude. You have to look at the fact that you're in
good health and you live in the greatest country that ever existed with a
standard of living higher than anywhere else in the world. That's what
counts.
Finally, you have to stop taking women to heart. Like
Doctor Freud once said, "Your entire existence is wrapped up in whether or not
they like you. That's nuts!"
Thinking that all females are going
to reject you is a half-truth. Sure, the majority is going to reject you,
but the majority of women reject most guys. But that doesn't mean you can't
try. The feedback from women is negative for most guys. But the muddy water
will clear as soon as you have the right education, which means you follow my
strategies.
My friend, I'm a coach, not a shrink. In your case there is
the possibility that you have some deep, deep problems - no offense intended.
Some of the things you talk about are borderline off the deep end. Those kinds
of problems are not my area of expertise. So it's up to you to do what you need
to do get yourself straightened out.
Dupree, unload the gun, put it
back in the drawer, and you'll be okay when you get the proper help and
memorize my book.
Remember, guys: the key to women is to not take them
personally.
To send me your love questions or
to find out more about "The System," visit me at
http://www.doclove.com or
call (800) 404-2644. To hear my call-in talk show, go to
http://www.worldtalkradio.com
Doc Love is a talk
show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the
past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man
versus another?"
Copyright 2006 DocLove
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